Assertiveness Training - Standing Up For Yourself

You have a reputation as "Beautiful Girl" or "Nice Guy"? If someone asks you to do something, you smile and say "Yes" even if you do not want to, just because you want the other person like you? I know the feeling.

For example, years ago I had a boyfriend who would often ask me what movie I wanted to see. I would say, "I do not care." But basically, I did care. He had to choose a film, not usually what I wanted to see, but I went with it. Then I would be unhappy and resentful of the film because he does not guess what movie I wanted to see. It 's been unfair to him.

I now realize I was causing a lot of unnecessary stress for me. I was eating too much, stuffing my feelings down with food, instead of expressing honestly ... as I have been privileged to do as a human being.

So I ask you ... you're expressing assertive? Here are three questions to find out:

1. Can you say 'No' without guilt?

If you are able to do it, I want you to say the word, "No" out loud. Maybe the world collapsing around you? Chances are, he did! The reason for the ability to say no is so important is this: Your time on earth is limited. You have things to do and only a limited amount of time to do them in. If you are busy to say "yes" to the wrong things, you will not have time to say "yes" on the right things.

Before you can say 'No' without guilt, we must be clear about things that are important to you. For example, self-care is very important. However, if the program is so packed that you have not left enough time for this and do things that give you joy, then something is wrong. You need to look at your day and understand the things you need to remove to allow time for the things of value. Everyone may not like it, but it's your life and you deserve to live the way you like.

2. You do not set boundaries with people?

Ever heard the saying: "Give some people an inch and it'll take a mile"? It 'so true! You do one thing for some people out of kindness and returned to you with a list of 10 more. Or lend them money because they said they were in danger of being kicked out of their apartment. Two months later, they returned ... only this time, they need the money to rent and car payments too.

Here are some words for my life and I think that Dr. Phil has told them: We teach people how to treat us. If someone has treated you so disrespectfully and not say anything, then you just say the person's right to continue to do so. You must speak and tell people when they have crossed the line. You can do this in private, and do so with respect, but must be done. Otherwise, the resentment accumulate and possibly explode.

3. You state your opinions without apology?

At this point, I'm not talking about being obnoxious. But do not say "I do not know" or "I do not care" if he asked for your opinion when you really do. And 'lack of respect for themselves when they are that way. I think that diminishes your confidence and sends a message to yourself and others that are not important. It seems a small thing but makes a big difference in your self-esteem and the way you manage your weight and health .......